Thursday 15 November 2012

Untitled

What more can I say about the enchantment I have been put under? Over a year and the feeling still grows within me. I cannot go a day, nay...a moment without her on my mind.

I have finally proposed to her. I have finally found the strength and the perfect timing. She is to be my bride, and we shall live out the rest of our days together.

This is not without issue, of course. What I speak of, is Kaledrei's return.
She has returned after all this time, proven that she is not dead. What we had seen was a mere illusion. But I fear what may come to her.
An experiment of mine from earlier believes it is me. It holds my own memories, except of my current family. This Anomaly as I am calling it, could prove to be a good decoy, if anything. But it could also prove to be dangerous if it learns of the wrong things.
I will have to watch out for it. It has already come into contact with Kaledrei, but I have warned her of what it is.

Sunday 15 April 2012

Haunting

She has come back. Her spirit haunts me. She is in pain, in need of something. I wish she would rest... I cannot stand to see her so tortured.

I will have her put to rest once she can see that her daughter is safe, and loved. Once she sees that... all is okay. She cannot rest until she knows. She cannot be at peace until she has felt her daughter in her arms once more.

I will allow her to possess my body, to be able to feel for herself. To know Zephanaye...

I feel terrible that Vivvienne is caught up in this all. She seems confused and scared, and it is not my intention to push her away. I love her with all of my heart, and even Kaledrei coming back to life could never change this. I gave my heart completely to my moon, and with her it belongs. Kaledrei is part of my past. I have no regrets about moving on. After all, Kaledrei is no longer among the living. Of course I still love her, but the time for her and I? That is over.

Friday 13 April 2012

Recent Thoughts

Everything that has happened only serves to make the bond stronger. She is all that I could need and want, and I do not know anything that could ever make me happier.
If only I had found the right one, it would have been Thursday night, for all to see. But I will bide my time. It must be perfect.

I love her so.

Thursday 5 April 2012

Daily Routine

It would seem that the routine I have become used to has been disturbed. While the sickness that had been plaguing Vivvienne and I had paused its symptoms, it is not gone. Everything felt as though it could continue as usual, but I know it not to be true.
The children are only home temporarily. My work is getting done, but I know I should be using the time to bond. It is just difficult. Zephanaye is going through some phase. Becoming grumpy and difficult to please. She has been throwing her toys and fussing. It may have been from moving her from home to the sitter's, and then back.

I wish there were some routine that would remain constant with us, or at least for a longer run. I do not know how to be a good father. I am trying my best, but I have so many worries. I do not wish for my little girl to grow up and dislike me. She is my dearest treasure.

Trysten has been developing at an alarming speed. I have watched him, the way he recognizes everything around him. I wonder if he is learning quicker because of his sister, or because of his bond with Vivvienne?
I will have to continue my observations.

Saturday 31 December 2011

Everything

I have everything. A loving girlfriend, two beautiful children, a family who cares about us.

I am not sure there is even need to write anymore. Words cannot express what I feel for them. For everyone. I do not think my soul has known such happiness in so long.

She is my moon.
My muse, inspiration.
My passion, my joy, my freedom.
My obsession.
My love.

I do not have the right words for any of these, and nothing I have expressed comes close. I want to make her mine in every way possible, and give myself as fully as I can to her. Our souls...to be one.

Vivvienne, my darling. I would do anything you wished.

Thursday 24 November 2011

Public

It has been a few days since we have brought our relationship public. Of course, Talil still does not know about it.
I do wonder what will happen. Whatever does happen, I will never allow that man to have full custody over the child. If he shows he can be a good father, I am sure we can work something out so that he will be able to see him. But this child belongs to Vivvienne, and to myself. I will raise him as my own son. I do not wish for him to take traits from his greedy father.

I am rather relieved that we have finally stopped hiding it. I wish she had told me just how much it bothered her to keep it such a secret. I should have known.

I love her so very much.

Thursday 17 November 2011

Fancy

The other night, I told Lina the truth. How I cheated on her. How I left her for another woman. She knows who it is now, and I can only hope she keeps her mouth shut. I would not wish for anything bad to have to happen to her.

I am worried for my love. Her aches and pains have been starting, and I worry if they are serious. Is it my fault? I did not corrupt this one... I could never. No, this child is mine, and I wish to see him grow. I pray that it is just close to the date, and that everything is healthy and normal.

I love her too much, I cannot let anything terrible come of this.