Overcast

It has been overcast for quite some time. I am waiting for the moon to come out once again.

Last night was quite interesting, with Lina's masquerade she hosted. I was not expecting the auction, and was reluctant to head on up to be bought, at first. I almost wish I had enough to spend on bidding for Lina, but I was quite broke. I am sure she will have a good time on her date, with that man who bought her. I am unsure who he is, but I trust her to contact me if something goes wrong.
I am unsure if it is such a good thing, that fleeting feeling of jealousy. Two months ago, I would have threatened that man if he would not back down on his bids. I would have denied Lina the opportunity to go on a date with another man. Perhaps it is a good thing we are letting the flame finally die down. I do not have the heart to continually lie. I do not love her any longer, and there is nothing I could possibly do to bring the feeling back.

I only hope the hatred she will surely have for me will eventually die down. I know she will always be there for Zephanaye, which makes things alright for the time being. I will need sitters if I am still ill while she is dating. I wonder if Nakawe and Palek would be willing...

Fear

I fear for my life. I fear for the well-being of my child, and I fear everything may crumble down to dust. Everything I have worked so hard for, what I have striven to complete, or even start, in my century of life.
Why do I do the things I do? Is this true regret I feel? Regret, knowing my fate could be the same as Goldsun's? One misstep and one is disowned, stripped down and executed in front of their family. In front of those they love and trust. One simple miscalculation, and it can all collapse.

Still, I hold hope. The moon still shines, brighter than before. There are so few clouds blocking her light. She is guiding me through the night, and I am grateful. How I love her radiance. I do hope she never burns out. I need her.

Shine

Why does she shine brightest before she hides behind those clouds?

I fear the dark. I wish she would shine tonight.

Moonlight

What I would not give for her to shine each night, so majestically upon me.
Her pale, soothing light gives peace. Gives comfort. Although she is but a mistress of the stars, I feel it when she shines only for me.
I could bask in that cool, pale glow forever. That false sense of security she brings;  I cannot keep her. It is dangerous to keep such a thought in one's mind.

I love the moonlight.