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What more can I say about the enchantment I have been put under? Over a year and the feeling still grows within me. I cannot go a day, nay...a moment without her on my mind.

I have finally proposed to her. I have finally found the strength and the perfect timing. She is to be my bride, and we shall live out the rest of our days together.

This is not without issue, of course. What I speak of, is Kaledrei's return.
She has returned after all this time, proven that she is not dead. What we had seen was a mere illusion. But I fear what may come to her.
An experiment of mine from earlier believes it is me. It holds my own memories, except of my current family. This Anomaly as I am calling it, could prove to be a good decoy, if anything. But it could also prove to be dangerous if it learns of the wrong things.
I will have to watch out for it. It has already come into contact with Kaledrei, but I have warned her of what it is.

Haunting

She has come back. Her spirit haunts me. She is in pain, in need of something. I wish she would rest... I cannot stand to see her so tortured.

I will have her put to rest once she can see that her daughter is safe, and loved. Once she sees that... all is okay. She cannot rest until she knows. She cannot be at peace until she has felt her daughter in her arms once more.

I will allow her to possess my body, to be able to feel for herself. To know Zephanaye...

I feel terrible that Vivvienne is caught up in this all. She seems confused and scared, and it is not my intention to push her away. I love her with all of my heart, and even Kaledrei coming back to life could never change this. I gave my heart completely to my moon, and with her it belongs. Kaledrei is part of my past. I have no regrets about moving on. After all, Kaledrei is no longer among the living. Of course I still love her, but the time for her and I? That is over.

Recent Thoughts

Everything that has happened only serves to make the bond stronger. She is all that I could need and want, and I do not know anything that could ever make me happier.
If only I had found the right one, it would have been Thursday night, for all to see. But I will bide my time. It must be perfect.

I love her so.

Daily Routine

It would seem that the routine I have become used to has been disturbed. While the sickness that had been plaguing Vivvienne and I had paused its symptoms, it is not gone. Everything felt as though it could continue as usual, but I know it not to be true.
The children are only home temporarily. My work is getting done, but I know I should be using the time to bond. It is just difficult. Zephanaye is going through some phase. Becoming grumpy and difficult to please. She has been throwing her toys and fussing. It may have been from moving her from home to the sitter's, and then back.

I wish there were some routine that would remain constant with us, or at least for a longer run. I do not know how to be a good father. I am trying my best, but I have so many worries. I do not wish for my little girl to grow up and dislike me. She is my dearest treasure.

Trysten has been developing at an alarming speed. I have watched him, the way he recognizes everything around him. I wonder if he is learning quicker because of his sister, or because of his bond with Vivvienne?
I will have to continue my observations.