It would seem that the routine I have become used to has been disturbed. While the sickness that had been plaguing Vivvienne and I had paused its symptoms, it is not gone. Everything felt as though it could continue as usual, but I know it not to be true.
The children are only home temporarily. My work is getting done, but I know I should be using the time to bond. It is just difficult. Zephanaye is going through some phase. Becoming grumpy and difficult to please. She has been throwing her toys and fussing. It may have been from moving her from home to the sitter's, and then back.
I wish there were some routine that would remain constant with us, or at least for a longer run. I do not know how to be a good father. I am trying my best, but I have so many worries. I do not wish for my little girl to grow up and dislike me. She is my dearest treasure.
Trysten has been developing at an alarming speed. I have watched him, the way he recognizes everything around him. I wonder if he is learning quicker because of his sister, or because of his bond with Vivvienne?
I will have to continue my observations.
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